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z:magick:records:03-09-2019

NOTE: Footnotes are written in the next day. Some are from memory, and additional commentary from a quick analysis by Fr. A. Notes in parentheses are my additions to the manuscript right after we closed the temple.

Watchtower Ceremony, 19th, inv. Governors (impromptu) 1)

21:42

There's a sphere, shifting between light and dark, illuminated much like earth. Smaller spheres orbit it. Stars appear in the background. All of this is happening in a cube. And then everything becomes smaller and smaller and the cube itself 2).

Cube is in a bright white room like a lab (?) with silver elements around3). There are white-clad angels walking through corridors casually.

In room w/ cube, an older gentle-faced female angel turns to me, opens her mouth, which transforms into terrible jaws as if she will bite me. 4)

An eye in her mouth.

The white features of the environment turn dark and red. 5)

:NANTA HCOMA EXARP BITOM 6)

“Silence be unto thee!” - and everything freezes (in ice) when I say that7). I look around, see (I'm in) a spaceship in orbit around the sphere. The one in cube is a copy of it.8) Cube starts unfolding or replicating (like a tesseract going through mitosis). Infinity of different outcomes. 9)

A lightning bolt crashes through the original cube, and takes a single path through its “children” (unfolded cubes). 10)

I see Raphael above, wielding a lightning bolt like Zeus. (A sense that) he quenched a rebellion.

- What's going on here?

R: This is purgatory. The elemental planes of chaos, where things begin starting to take order. And everything that is this base/ primitive must have order forced on it, otherwise it'll succumb to entropy.

Thunderbolt turns to sword. He is now Michael. Shield appears with seven-fold star, enclosed - each outside angle w/e straight lines. It is dark vibrant green w/ red dot in center.

I hear again “O ye heavens!”

There is an opening in space; same shape of portal (archway). Brilliant white light shines through. I go through.

It is similar but much smaller than the one in TEX. All made of gold and covered in red w/ brown carpet. Chamber is built on a Greek cross, about 40 paces across.11)

There is a gold chandelier, with diamonds and rubies in it12). I stand at entrance, see three spirits13).

One on the left side in left quarter. One on right side, one to the right across chamber.

On the left is a green scaly sphere, elongated vertically, with two eyes on stalks (like a snail), mouth between them. Short but thin legs that end like a frog's. No arms, fins instead.

Across and to the right looks like a bird-snake-badger chimera.

Directly on the right is a bear with tusks and a spiny tail.

They want to speak, but can't - gibberish noise comes out14).

I go to cross center.

- Come to the center.

They do, and they change shape15); they look like regular angels (as in popular pictures). They speak with one voice, but I can't hear the words16). What they mean is that they mix and match the elements, to find order in the children of chaos. I point to the empty quarter, they see it is blue, within it a symbol appears (letter C with two short strokes on the middle outside part)17).

To the left of it, a yellow door, made of prison bars. There is a male blond angel (35ish?) grabbing at the bars.

Angel: release me!

- What for?

A: I have been imprisoned for eternity, for bringing light into the waters that may nourish the minds and souls. It was the right thing to do, but it broke the balance (Scribe originally wrote “bounds”.) and all fell into disarray. And unto him that is Fallen, I proclaim vengeance, for restriction is not good enough.18)

I understand at this point, that even angels can be brought low enough to lose themselves in chaos.

(long pause between this and next - absolute sense of peace, like a deep dissolution of being/ identity? “I” was still present, but everything was just so incredibly comfy)19)

It's very peaceful.

The whole environment froze in place, as if time stopped.

Hand on my shoulder.

I turn around, see a terrible angel (in medieval/ renaissance armor and flaming jaws) who stabs me w/ massive sword, under my sternum, clean through. I recognize it is Gabriel.20) 21)

:EXARP HCOMA NANTA BITOM

He takes a more pleasant form, but is still very angry at me.

- What was that for?

G: dealing with slaves.22)

- What slaves?

G: Those possessed by the illusion 23)

- Why? 24)

I see Gabriel close the portal and another gate shut in front of my face. Sense of laughter and joy 25) Feeling of certainty nonetheless - confidence that they'll sort things out with Michael, and it'll be none of my concern.

22:35

1)
Haven't yet found a good way of invoking them that'd just let me put in their names and qualities.
2)
Meaning the cube itself is also getting smaller.
3)
Indicating Lunar nature. This becomes significant later.
4)
Fr A.: “Kelley would often get tortured and punished in vision and physically for his past work with the goetic demons. The spirits of the chaos without order are the kakodaimons because Angels are formulated in Enochian out of harmonize alchemical arrangements of letters, while demons are of these same letters in confusion and disorder and lesser refinement.” This is significant, we we'll see later.
5)
An indication of putrefaction.
6)
I did not choose the order of the names, just got them out as quickly as I could.
7)
As should be expected when the entire space one's exploring is made of the very fabric of Chaos.
8)
In retrospect, it isn't a copy, but rather, a “projection”.
9)
The cubes replicating horizontally, into a triangular-shaped 'plane', like pavement.
10)
This is an indication of binding the 'future' towards one singular path, where Order can dominate.
11)
Something like this (note I am largely guessing on all colors but blue):
12)
Indicating the 'ruling authority' here. It's 5=6, as it's deriving power from both Gimel (Diamonds) and Geburah (Rubies).
13)
See image in footnotes for more detail on placement.
14)
I have yet to figure out why that is. Completely unintelligible.
15)
Likely charged by the form, or the idea of the center being Holier.
16)
Again, noise. Pleasant this time, but unintelligible.
17)
Enochian letter Ur. I have yet to find any attributions to it.
18)
Fr A: “These angels are known traditionally as grigori [“The Quick Ones” in Greek -S.]. You really ought to avoid communication with them as they’ll muddy communication and are known to induce egomania and delusions.”
19)
In retrospect, it was a nice dip into dhyana.
20)
Fr A.: “It's Gabriel who rules this location and rules correcting of these type of things. As Iamblichus tells us, interaction causes the soul to be stained and modified. The only exceptions are vamachara or working a refinement.”
21)
Fr A.: “As you control yourself in vision, during certain times like this you should have either bound that angel to the cross thus refining yourself and it, or just prayed for guidance or called a governor or tried a different direction. This aethyr is known for inducing Doubt, challenges, fears.”
22)
“Angels in confusion are identical to the Enochian kakodaimons, that’s the literal definition of what a kakodaimon even is.”
23)
I.e. The literal spirit bound by illusion that I spoke to.
24)
At the time I didn't really understand what was going on. My mind was pleasantly blank from that dip into dhyana, and I hadn't yet gathered my thoughts.
25)
Which is strange considering I literally got kicked out for having a pleasant chat. The implication here is that I need to be harder during the visions, and use the appropriate signs and names to get to the truth of each aethyr.
z/magick/records/03-09-2019.txt · Last modified: 04/09/2019 09:49 by z